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I stopped buying Roses – The Time I loved a Narcissist..
Tag: woman
Breadcrumbing Vs Ghosting – Are we all addicts?
We cannot even Eenie, meanie, mo this one, because the 2024 get of men, don’t provide a 3rd option. Yes I speak for the masses on this. I recently posted on a ‘Dating group’ filled with 100k women, and the post went off the scale..
Initially I thought is this an age bracket issue, but hell no, this is age irrelevant.
Recently a lawsuit was filed in California against a very well known dating app, stating that its platform is designed to cause addiction. Having worked in corporate roles myself for two of the biggest adult gambling businesses, I spent a lot of time understanding just how the house wins, how the player is manipulated and how addictions are formed. Whilst studying I worked on a project about how a certain social platform was indeed designed to cause addiction. Our very own chemical processes manipulated for financial gain, and neither gambling, social or dating apps, give a fuck, yet daily, suicide after suicide from everyone of those avenues, but do these large corporations care?? No because we’re say paying for memberships, paying a board in CA to live their very best life, at the expense of us all, but most of all at the expense of real love.
With any addiction, people do not realise just how addicted they are.
Lets side by side..
A player goes 50/50 black or red, opts for red, wins, has a sensational feeling, a complete adrenalin fix leading up-to that win, and then that warm feeling of dopamine kicking in when they do win, what happens next, the rare few maybe walk away, thank the lord, they’re up, and feel blessed with their win, but a very very high majority with the attitude, ‘I want that fix again’ , ‘I could win more next time’ , ‘I can here with nothing will leave with nothing’ …
Now lets flip that side by side..
A player goes on a dating app, he swipes left on many girls, but swiped right on 5 other players, all gorgeous, they start a chat with all, but one stands out, they place their bet, they chat intensely, adrenalin pumping, sexual tension exciting, they arrange a date, date goes amazing, adrenalin is crazy through the roof, they ago home, they kiss, or even have sex, the moment, the chemistry, the pure raw dopamine, feels amazing, the next day, – again the very are few think – ‘Ive met someone special here, going to see what happens. The vast majority, feel smiley, a little happy, but as their dopamine levels naturally drop back down, they don’t realise, so they automatically presume, ‘No they’re not my one’ – again not realising this is all chemical, so instantly they want the fix again, and they wonder, I wonder if the other 4 matches have messages so log back on the apps, whilst there lets swipe again.. wonder who else is out there.
😳
It’s dangerous, and even those who feel they are the most confident, aren’t, something in them has an insecurity even if they shout to the world ‘Hey Im mr/mrs confident’ , something in them, forgets that people they date are human beings, and this… is what leads to breadcrumbing and ghosting.
So we have been here before discussing this, but what is the worse, now we can either leave another human being hanging on a ledge, for if we decide to return, maybe a day we need a pick me up, or maybe a day we’re in their area and fancy some fun, or we can totally ignore someone like they’re invisible… like they are not human, like we feel we are so much superior we can treat another human, with a heart like that. I cannot lie, I’ve never breadcrumbed anyone, but I have ghosted, and that’s because I have been a coward, and not wanted to hurt someone, but then at the same time, I was so wrong for presumming they wanted anything anyway 😂😂!!!
So what is breadcrumbing? Breadcrumbing is a form of manipulation, when someone makes out they are interested but deep down aren’t, they lust you, that’s it, they want nothing more. Sometimes people who breadcrumb, don’t even mean to manipulate on purpose, as strange as it sounds, they are genuinely unsure what they want In life. The standard situation, is they give a little of their time, here and there, when you try and break away, they offer their excuses, as to why they aren’t more available, they say, well walk away, but I like you. You will know when its bread crumbing, because after a month in, you will know nothing about them, they stop liking your instagram images, and they stop watching your story, they don’t give a fuck about your life and what you are upto, and girls you have to realise, you are a last resort here, an option, and most of these men, not all, but most, have underlying issues, they like the idea of an everlasting love, but they’ve either been coupled up in a long term relationship that ended, or are in mid-life crisis mode. However guys who breadcrumb, will give you a bit of time here and there, and they simply can’t give no more, because in the time they’re away they’re spending time on Instagram liking other women, chatting on whatssap to others, and swiping to boost their ego. They simply have a new flavour of the week, and when they get bored, will return.
So what is ghosting and how does it differ, I mean either way at this point, the word ‘Dick’ should have crossed your mind. However ghosting, is just as RUDE, but I have done it myself, rather than prolong the agony, and be undecided, I pretty much decide straight away, if i’m in or out, and I simply never have the heart to really say, no this isn’t for me, I kind of just drift away, don’t get me wrong, sometimes I have said it, but sometimes, I’ve simply archived and blocked, because I just don’t want to hurt someone. Another thing personal for me is ADHD, I simply forgot to reply. My current whatssap is at ’17’ unread, and that’s not me being rude. I’m just personally a nightmare. Ghosting echoes past rejections, it brings a feeling of self questioning, one minute everything fine, next, are they even alive? It leads to questions ‘What did we do’, ‘Is there something wrong with me’, and ‘Am I good enough’ .. and that’s the sad thing about it all. Yes you are good enough, but that person, you admired, doesn’t admire you. However because they haven’t told you, you don’t know the truth, so you hope for the best, but still, left on a cliff edge, however after time there is a finalé to it, you come to realise, yep their loss.
So if you ask, what is worse, breadcrumbing or ghosting? It has to be breadcrumbing, because people are toying with someone else’s heart, and not letting go, and to treat another human like this is so wrong, but leading someone on, is as low as it can be, because keeping someone hanging whilst we are unsure, isn’t kind. Years ago people used to value others emotions, others feelings, however in todays swipe culture, people don’t care.. people care about their body count, their own self sense of validation in the world.
What are you looking for, looks or personality?
I mean do we know the answer to this? One day it can all seem so clear, we know exactly, and then the next, it’s like hmmmm!!
Even in my sexual prime, I’m at a stand still thinking, I cannot be arsed with this! Ok, lets correct that., I can be arsed with sex, Jesus, however its what comes after that! I struggle to go from APP to text and then the impossible seems to be meet! The need for touch is very real, but the need for stress is not so real.
You get me?
Ok so, we all have a type, yes? I’m rather specific, perhaps too specific, oh maybe who am I kidding, they’re all bloody clones of each other. Although recent guy, lovely person, a Barrister from Manchester, great chat, and totally admired the field he practised in, however in the words of my best friend ‘I think he gives you the ick’ , I mean I’m not 100% sure on that, but he was very different looking than my normal type, but I think she meant in the chat, as he seemed to agree with me, and if I said black was my fave colour, there is a high probability he would of said the same, something just did not feel right in our chats, and maybe because my heart is elsewhere, however it did make me think, what am I actually looking for? How do we strike the balance, between kind and genuine, but not too soft!
I mean who we think we want in our heads, do not always match up to who our hearts and sexual beings desire. We have this image in our heads, 6ft 2, dark thick hair, good arms and athletic shape, and nice eyes and lips, (ok I told you I was specific and probably describing the man I’m infatuated with there, (well no probably, I am), however, why do I find myself sexually drawn to those who aren’t my type, and girls we have all been there, plain old Joe blogs, giving us the flutters! We deny it and think ‘WTF’ but isn’t chemistry a strange thing.
We all want that mate, who is easy live with, stress free and looks good, but I don’t know if you’re like me, I have had that, and the first few years are fabulous, but statistics have shown, those stress free relationships we have all craved, when we get them, actually lead to the biggest infidelities of all. Its getting the cocktail just right isn’t it, having a bit of that, but also needing that obsession with them to, we can love and like, and have great sex, but do they drive us wild? Are they a fantasy and someone who would probably test us and change our world a little, yes we may be in the safety of Mr or Miss nice, cosy nights in and cuddles on the couch, and good sex, but what if we went for wild sex, someone out the box, someone who drives us wild. Have you ever met someone, and even though you’re friends, every time you stop and talk to them, your head is saying ‘Kiss him’ – Yes he may be married off, but the intensity of wanting him, can be crazy, so much so you have to force yourself to not think him and ban him from your head, now that us the shit that will get me settled down!
Take the show ‘Love is blind’ – the concept of this show, is strangers talking for hours on end through a wall, and over 3 weeks of fall in love with the person that they have never even lay eyes on, I mean this is tough, they cannot even describe their physical attributes, its an experiment based on getting to know someone for who they are, and OMG I have been here, I was surprised at the time, but I had a head start, I had matched this person, and our kiss after our first date has been something else, but the relationship (ok situationship) developed through hours and hours of texts and talk, to the point I was shocked at what feelings I had, I had fallen in love, so when the ‘Its not you its me’ chat came from him, it actually effected me like a real break up, I lost weight and I never wanted to chat to a guy again, and this was just one date, but calls and texts every day for months, so the concept of ‘Love is blind’ actually is so amazing, because again this guy was good looking, but line him up against previous exes and he was a good 7, but not the type you’d be like WOW, and I think this guy had a fondness for me, but he settled elsewhere, and whilst part of me is probably still a little in love, we have to move on, and I did and have, but Guess in life there will be these people that we are drawn to and they may not be the normal type we go for, but what if something had of developed?
Sexual attraction is a desire to become sexually involved with someone. While it often occurs alongside romantic attraction, they are not the same. Sexual chemistry can happen without a romantic attraction, and this can be a real problem, because the evolution of dating apps, draws us to who we are sexually attracted to, without knowing the person, (do we ever read the BS in bios) , and sometimes as much as we can be, wow he’s fit, once we get chatting, we can tell pretty quickly if there is going to be longevity in the conversation, and once we realise there is no romantic long term spark there, we move on very quickly.
I guess we just have to choose wisely and hope one day we strike a balance, and we will know, because when we find our true life mate, it won’t be because its easy, because its relaxed and no drama, it will be when sex with anyone else will never enter our minds, and we aren’t doing our best like a dog with a bone, to bury the thought of someone else.. because however much we try, we cannot live a life banning someone from our thoughts… so don’t move in till that mind is free… and also never just settle, for what we think our minds want and need, lets listen to our bodies to.. it all has to connect!
Are we Dating the Same Guy
Yes I have been a bit MIA, however I feel, I have been on a bit of a journey, or should I say experiment, in order to obtain material, for more juicy posts.
The story of dating in the 2020’s… the rise and popularities of these groups, has brought a lot of women expectations on availability to a fucking full stop! FOREVER! However a few months later, we try the apps again, and crash, bang, wallop, we’re back in the same spot.
What is failing us ladies in 2024 dating, we sit their overthinking, and taking everything so personal, however my journey of dating and sharing the experiences of others, as made me and again others, come to the realisation, that the divide amongst the sexes has never been bigger.
As women we are at a point where we even look to lower our standards because we try and meet ‘a nice guy’ – well ALERT Girls, that will not be happening again in a rush! I mean I’m not saying being fucked over by a 9/10 is any better, but wow, we are just here as lab rats boosting the self esteem of guys we wouldn’t normally look at, and their ego’s are making them think they’re an 11!!!
The way I see it, and friends of mine see it, is they’re all just fat kids in a sweet shop, hungry and greedy, the little Augustus Gloops of the adult dating world, with their dirty hands spread muck and filth and stickiness across everything in their path! We really need to be more Willy Wonka and fuck these greedy kids off, yet as women, it seems to be in our DNA like some big life impairment that we think we will be the ‘one to make a difference’ 😂😂😂😂 , we want to be the Mary Poppins and save all the children!
The rise of ‘Are we dating the same guy Groups’ gives dating a bit of a safety net and a comical view, what on earth has society become, that we have to beg for information on the guy we have just matched to. There feels a real sadness that women have to resort to this, but at the same time, there should be a realisation that we are enabling this, it is a vicious circle. The new circle of life, hope for love, give our minds and bodies to these guys who seem genuine, in the hope they’re the new ‘one’ , and get fucked off! They are all 3 date wonders max girls! Why? Because when we open up and give our mind and even our bodies, to them, its a notch, a body count’ and the next one is just a swipe away. So all these middle aged men and lets face it, some only a 6/7 at best, with their love handles, hair systems, and botox’d to death faces, think they’re Gods fucking gift! I noticed this year, I thought ok, lets chat to guys I wouldn’t normally look at, and Jesus, I think they’re the worse! Growing up average at best so not having the best of luck with women, then suddenly make a bit of money and have a glow up, and they’re banging (or trying to bang) anything that moves. Dating to these guys has become a hyper fixation, a woman a day, keeps the ugly guy at bay! We are feeding their EGO’s girls.
Sadly I feel dating apps and the swipe culture has killed, what we know as romance, I think we are truly past the point of no return.. and I don’t say that easily. We are in a throw away society and this isn’t just about the clothes we wear on our back, we have become just as disposable, and our hearts and souls, and goodness as the women we are, are just enabling it to happen more and more.
‘Are we dating the same guy’ Groups, Christina Wang of Virginia Beach, murdered her husband after he appeared on ‘Are we dating the same guy’, Then a group post led to a woman being murdered by her ex she shared info over, and recently in May 2024, an Irish guy was driven to suicide because someone posted about him, thankfully he survived, but what are we all doing to each other, we should be making Love not War, but this does truly feel like a war of the sexes, Man Vs Woman, we are dicing with death, just to find out if guys are good guys, when sadly around 70% of men 30-45 are not wanting to be in relationships. Guys are bored of relationships it seems, they are living the Wayne Linekar lifestyle, pulling women 15-20 years younger than them,, they are living their best dream, and technically there isn’t anything illegal in the way they are living their lives, but as women, perhaps we are the ones who need to realise, Mr Marbella 2024, has found his own path, and even a 10, isn’t going to pursuede him otherwise. They may give the spiel, how they want cosy nights, want a partner in crime, or … wait for it… a ride or die, I recently got told! Come on Lols at that! However one of the sad things about these groups is, they should be ANONYMOUS, but because guys have friends, family, potentials, on these groups, wanting to score brownie points, post after post is being shared with the guy, and what a shame, I feel they’re out of control now.
Deep down I know for a fact that some of the 30% ‘Good boys’ are still thinking about fucking other women, trying to ban that woman they lust after, out of their mind. So whilst they’re banishing other women from their mind, and technically physically not cheating, the fact they desire someone else, shows a lot, and I have male mates who have openly admitted this, when they have amazing partners. What they should be doing is being with the person they sexually desire, not the women who feels safe, prettier, etc, because the woman they crave will be the one to keep that dopamine going for a life time.
Personally for me, dating, I have no qualms at all checking someone out, all you need these days is a name and age, and you can find anything if you look in the right places.
However remember posting on these groups can lead to Death, and threats, and after my friend recently posted my experience, I then received the most awful call, and guys, blame you girls… they don’t think of their actions are what drove you or your friend to post about them, they just HATE you, but as I said to someone lately, actions lead to reactions, and this is dating 2024!
If we all took the oath of celibacy and deleted our apps for a month, the world would be a better place… and men may learn some manner, respect and most of all MORALS, because why do they need them now? They piss one girl off and hurt one girl, they take another out the next night… easy prey…
He’s just not that into you… or is he?
Do you feel it’s always you sending the first text? It’s annoying as Hell isn’t it, beyond frustrating, like where are all the gentlemen hiding!
The last thing anyone wants to do is come across needy, when they could be actually the opposite, but it does get to a point of hurt, when you’re the one instigating all of the chat.
Do you wonder what would happen if you didn’t contact him? Do you worry romance will fade? Does it feel that every week, you tell yourself ‘I’m not going to text him’ , but then after a few days you end up cracking.
When you text him, and he replies, do you sit there, thinking, ‘is he just bored, is he being polite, is he with anyone? It is so hard trying to figure men out, they play games, without realising they are playing games.
Lets talk about the reasons, it could be you texting first…
1.He has a crazy busy lifestyle
It is the simplest explanation but maybe he is just busy and stressed with life, so hasn’t got the time to sit and chat. You do need to think, if he doesn’t have time to chat, then he doesn’t really have the time for a relationship… sorry to say but true.
2. He just isn’t a texter
Guys just don’t communicate like girls do, I mean a % will, but its rare, and they don’t think like we do. Us women appreciate a ‘good morning text’ , ‘good night sweet dreams’ text, but only the very few gentlemen who feel lucky to have the girl will be thoughtful enough to do this, a clear indication if a guy likes you. If a guy is really into you, he will wake up in the morning, and want to text you, will want to see whats on your instagram story from the night before, he will do it without realising.
3. He isn’t sure on his feelings towards you, so doesn’t want to lead you on
Something about you intrigues him, but he isn’t sure if you’re right, if he’s ready for a relationship, or if he just wants to carry on playing the field, so rather than flirt with you (in his eyes by texting first may make you think he’s into you more than he is) , he probably does like you, and thats why he does think like this, but remember this isn’t about you, its about him. Some guys just don’t see what goodness is in front of them, and can talk theirselves out of what could be something incredible.
For guys like this, it really is worth not texting them, if they genuinely like you they will reach out, if they don’t reach out, you have your answer, and if you do not want the latter to happen, then we need to install the ‘Hero instinct’ , new psychology, has proved men want to be your hero.. take a peek at psychologist James Bauer, he provides great insight into the concept.
4. He is deliberately dangling the carrot and enjoying it..
There are guys out there sadly, that get off on the fantasy, that this gorgeous woman (you) wants them, wants them sexually and in every way, they fantasise about bumping into you, fantasise about you sexually, and get off on the idea that they could almost (in their heads) click their fingers and you would be there. This is a power trip and should be a huge red flag, run for the hills girls, because this man has issues. He does not deserve getting in your head. You’re worth more than a fantasy fuck.
5. He just wants to date and not commit to a relationship
You have probably been here yourself , liked someone but just not enough to give updating, and it could be they end up in your archived, but sadly it kills us, when this is returned, but this is the fact of life. This i not a reflection on your worth, please remember that. It could be he just isn’t looking for a relationship with anyone, or it could be he just isn’t sure if you are right for him just yet, and maybe he thinks he should cut you off, but can’t, because maybe he does consciously like you, or maybe he just can’t nail if he does or not. Confusing hey? But that’s human emotions for you…
No girl can convince a man to be with them, what tends to happen, is stereotypical, a guy will meet an amazing woman, but over time fish around, and then start to question if girl A (YOU) are right for him, in his head he will think, no I wouldnt be interested in girl B or girl C , if I liked girl A, and then the over thinking kicks in, but then when girl B and C disappear, he starts to think why is girl A. still around, or even still on his mind. You convince a man to like you girls, he will want someone to tick every box, but over time he will suddenly be like well she ticked 8 boxed out of 10 but is so special, and sadly by this time, you’d have been swept off your feet, by someone who doesn’t have to think twice.
Infatuation in a males mind, is driven deep by a primal drive, and yes you can introduce words and play on sexual compatiability , he is driven by sexual urge first and foremost, until he has time to think about this.
6. He has recently broken up with someone, or still in love with his ex?
Men just need time, and you wouldn’t want to rush or push. aman who is in this head space.
7. Perhaps he is just scared
Maybe they do not trust women, maybe they have been hurt, maybe they are scared of getting into another ‘shit’ relationship.
Men and women can hurt each other, and he may be fearful and genuine, in not wanting to rush, or be hurt again.
8. Maybe he just is not into you?
I am truly pained writing this, I find it a struggle, but maybe it is the reality we all need to face at times. Perhaps he asked for the first date , because of that primal drive, but after that it quickly died off. Anyone can read body language, and a first date body language speaks volumes, in an ideal world, you will meet and want to kiss each other straight away, but then sadly we can meet people and be given the ick, within minutes, nothing worse.
If the first date went amazing, then its pretty clear a second date will follow within two weeks, now unless he is the tinder swindler and faked the whole chemistry of the first date, then you know you’re onto a winner, if a second date proceeds, and girls never ask for a second date, remember that.
9. He is super arrogant, and thinks you will always text first.
Oh these are the ones that say they are confident, but actually just RUDE AF. He will think he is better than you, and above you, and feels it is you who needs to chase him, walk away girls, walk away.
10. They like to play hard to get, and test you
Can. we take a moment, to just YAWNNNNNN!!! Guys like this just like to play the game on who likes each other more… they will obviously want you to really show you are into them, but sadly for most women, give it a month, and we see a boy and not a man..
He will give off this air of arrogance (he will call it confidence) , make out he has other options, just to keep us on our toes, but this man likes a woman to crave him, and likes the fact she is on her toes, again something in our primal brain that kills the attraction and respect very quickly.
SO….
Yes it is 2023 but a man expecting a woman to do all the chasing is disrespectful, and the balance isn’t right, balance is key for longevity, in a true partnership and true love, respect is what holds the love together, without this… there is nothing, so always tell yourself this..
Endometriosis the silent war…
So this post is a little different, its a post on where I want this blog to go, your own contributions…
Endometriosis, is the unspoken subject that , no-one really understands..
Endometriosis is a condition where tissue similar to the lining of the womb grows in other places, such as the ovaries and fallopian tubes.
Endometriosis can affect women of any age, including teenagers.
It’s a long-term condition that can have a significant impact on your life, but there are treatments that can help.
Date 18th Sept 2023 , Source,https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/endometriosis/
I mean do Doctors, educate us on Endo Belly? Do they advise us what to do, when we have a tampax in, and an overnight pad for day time use?? Do they advise us what else we can do than set 2 hour alarms each night? No… they don’t! So with sharing awareness we can look to educate each other..
I have taken the time to speak to a few of you, and share a few of your own experiences on just how Endometriosis can make you feel..
‘Endometriosis and PCOS have controlled my entire, teenage and adult life, and for the past year or two, I have suffered in extreme silence and hidden my struggle with everyone in my life. I was told by GP’s to basically ‘Man up’,and that I was lying because everything looked ‘Normal’ , that I was too. young for anything to be wrong, and most of all met with ‘Just go on the pill'(Don’t even get me started on this), worst of all the surgery I had done in 2019, hadn’t even been done properly! LADIES, PARENTS, SIBLINGS, EVERYONE… EXTREME PERIOD PAIN IS ‘NOT’ NORMAL!! If you feel you need the help, fight for it. Don’t wait like me until you’re in the back of an ambulance, not wanting to live through the pain any more. There is no award for suffering in silence. Today re-found many cysts and endometriosis adhesions in multiple areas of my body. … So yes , that pain causing my body to collapse and fit, the 24/7 chronic fatigue, and mental health struggles, ARE NOT NORMAL. Yes my diagnosis is a good, but the relief is indescribable
@parisaysabelle
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Since I was a teenager I’ve always had painful periods and was just told this was normal and to get on with it. I then started expecting painful intercourse as I got older and just knew something wasn’t right. I got diagnosed when I was 19 and have just had my 3rd surgery at age 25. Learning about Endo has been such a journey as it’s so under researched and I try to promote its awareness as much as I can. For me I used to suffer with the bloating, pain so bad I couldn’t stand, random bleeding, painful intercourse, and fatigue. Through trial and error I found out caffeine and vodka really trigger a flare up, I’ve also tried a keto diet to reduce my carb intake to help reduce the bloating. I’m now cycle syncing and have recently come off my contraceptive implant to try and control my symptoms more naturally and so far I’m doing okay but it’s all a big learning curve. The biggest thing for me is professionals almost don’t want to know and don’t often take you seriously
I’ve helped raise money and awareness for Endo through photo shoots for an organisation my friend set up called making the invisible visible. It’s about showing the effects of invisible illnesses and we write words on our body that represent how our illness makes us feel but also how it makes us feel despite having the illness. I try not to let Endo define me as there is so much more to me than that but it’s so important to raise awareness for something that impacts 1 in 10 women 💛
@Charleyrodgers
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I have endo and adeno and it’s ruining my life it is under researched they just think it’s period pain and then their only solution is surgery which may relieve some symptoms not all as it grows back and they mistake for a hormone disorder when it’s a pain disability I can’t breathe properly walk sleep chest pains back pains bowl pain chronic fatigue and look physically sick when it flares up sending love and healing xxx
@Christinajb_
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Endometriosis sucks! Sorry to be blunt, but some days I do not even want to get out of bed! I struggle to have sex, most positions kill me off, and I refuse, to leave my house until day 3/4! Men do not get it, Doctors do not get it, friends do not get it! It feels like people just think ‘It is a period, get over it’. It feels like people don’t want it to exist, and my work do NOT get it at all, no surprise, it is run by men!
Anon
The above is just 4 of the stories I was sent, and you can feel the hurt and anger that lies behind the misunderstanding of this illness.
Endometriosis for me is on my womb, my bladder, my bowel, its inside the cavity of the womb walls (adenomyosis), its fused my left ovary to the back of my womb, its left a ridiculous amount of scar tissue, making such a mess inside, its caused fibroids/ polyps, its led to a big mass (benign) on my right ovary, and cysts, its led me to 6 miscarriages, and it leaves me flooding with a simple sneeze. I cannot thank my ex enough, and any woman reading this who has a boyfriend, I think this illness, shows you just how good of a man you have, if they can help you shower, when you’re weak, scrub the mattress when you flood, and sit with you for hours in A&E, and understand his fave sexual position, may be your most painful, a good man is fundamental with this illness, because the anger, the pain, the passing out, the flooding, and the infertility is just to hard to deal with on our own, but we do because we’re women, and any shit life throws at us, we get through it, in all our glory, because we are WOMEN!
Love – What does it mean?
The one thing I know for sure, is feelings are rarely mutual, not everyone will meet on the same page..
So when we meet someone when the feeling is mutual, why are we still holding back, rather than dropping the game and hard to get facade, forget the bull shit of letting the negatives and overthinking set in, because what you’ve found with this mutual feeling, is something the rest of the world are chasing on a daily basis. Love is all we have ever needed, all we deep down have ever craved, yet these days we seem to take love for granted, has it lost its meaning?
When we find love and that connection, we should be taking a deep breath, a step forward and giving way to caution, and diving head first. Throw the rules out the window, opinions of others not matter, because girls and boys, love is rare, love will give you one hell of a ride, enjoy the lust, the passion, the infatuation.
We cross paths with potential suitors daily, some we are aware of, some we don’t notice, but when two worlds collide with such intensity, fuck common sense!!! This is all we need!!
As sexual beings, our lust and desire are intensified even more so with feelings, feelings just make everything run more smoothly.
What I have realised lately is love has no rules, no boundaries, it doesn’t just arrive a few months down the line, sometimes it can be instant, beyond a feeling of desire, it can take you by surprise when you never saw it coming, and blow you away, and its at that point we reach for fight or flight, to flee or not to flee… we start to question if we are ready for it, does it fit into our current life, what happened to just going with it and enjoying it. Have we started becoming scared of love, scared about the prospect of loving another person thats not ourselves. Are we becoming selfish not just to others but to ourselves to. Depriving ourselves of true happiness and being loved.
Love should be un-directional and a feeling of being independent and free with expression, but why isn’t it? Why when we feel something we start to feel shame, start to feel we cannot express how we feel, because of boundaries of time limitations, or scared of love bombing our potential other half!
The way in which love has changed through the generations, is demonstrated with phrases such as ‘I love you’ , its a phrase now that seems to be so freely signed off on a text or call to most people we care about, it’s almost as if without noticing and realising the repercussions, of diluting love.
These days, telling another we love them, feels like a passing comment, the words are shoved down our throat so much, that most of the times, its almost accepted that we don’t need to or want to hear it back. True love seems to be a thing of movies past, something the world aspired to, something we all wanted, but now we often run a mile. We love to love everything and everyone, but fear loving someone who could potentially change our future…
Love isn’t a plaster either, its not simply a bandage to use, to hold together a failing romance, it isn’t just a phrase to use, when the going gets tough, a lot of guys esp seem to struggle with the words, and many times they crop up, when its time for forgiveness and sorry, almost like ‘You have to forgive me,I love you’ I mean its a slip of the tongue, an a cling of desperation to make things right, again normalising us to do away with its true meaning.
True love should be defined, defined in a way that tells us in our hearts that we simply can’t loose this person in our life, and our face, our actions, and our reactions should demonstrate it, in all its glory. Love isn’t defined by materials, by sorry’s, by time.
We are only cheating ourselves on this one.. lets stop pretending we have no emotions, lets not pretending that we can’t be arsed with romance, or that its corny, lets learn how to feel again and lets make sure we really mean it, when we do say it…
Life and love is special, here before any materials, here before any hobbies, here before any careers, here before any social media, imagine if we gave the same amount of effort to love, that we did to everything else! Does anyone feel the world would be a much happier place??
The Girl Who 