Why Dating in 2025 Feels So Hard — From Someone Who’s Tired of Trying

I don’t know about you, but dating in 2025 feels like an emotional rollercoaster with no seatbelt. Everyone says they want something real — loyalty, love, connection — but most people don’t actually show up for it. It’s like everyone’s addicted to attention, but terrified of intimacy…. and no I don’t mean Sex, I mean real intimacy of getting to know each other…

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve opened up to someone, only to be met with mixed signals, half-effort, or silence. People ghost like it’s nothing now. They breadcrumb you with “good mornings” and heart emojis, but no real intention behind them. It’s exhausting — trying to keep faith in love when it feels like most people are just playing games, its bloody hard, and this is why it exhausts me and I just can’t physically chat to more than 1-2 people, I get brain fog, then I worry I am becoming the ‘Ghoster’ . So whilst people will always say ‘Kerry, why do you put all your eggs in one basker’ – the answer is, with my busy life, I do not have the capacity to spread myself thinly, chatting to multiple people.

1. 

Everyone’s Scared to Settle — But Not in the Good Way

It’s not that people don’t want love — they just don’t want to choose it. We live in this swipe culture where everyone’s afraid to settle because they think there’s always something better one scroll away.

It’s like no one actually stops to appreciate what’s right in front of them. They keep chasing the next dopamine hit — the next “spark,” the next crush, the next temporary distraction — instead of investing in something that could actually grow into something meaningful.

2. 

People Use Each Other Like Emotional Placeholders

I’ve learned the hard way that some people don’t want you — they just don’t want to be alone. They’ll talk to you, flirt with you, maybe even make you feel special for a while. But deep down, they’re not building a connection — they’re just filling a void, something so missing in them, and they often don’t even realise. I have been there myself, until I pushed on with my self awareness journey.,

When people have got what they needed — validation, comfort, a distraction from their loneliness — they move on. No closure. No honesty. Just silence. And you’re left sitting there wondering what changed, when really… they were never ready for anything real in the first place.

3. 

We Mistake Attention for Affection

The lines are so blurry now. Someone sends you flirty texts, watches your stories, and gives you compliments — and it feels like something, right? But attention isn’t the same as affection. Just because they choose to orbit you, doesn’t mean they are interested. Right now I have someone I find attractive and would like to get to know, floating around in my socials, however even after I sent my number several days ago, still haven’t had a message.. and actions speak louder than…. we all know the script!

People are experts at giving just enough to keep you hooked, but never enough to build something solid. They like the feeling of being wanted, but they don’t actually want to show up for you. And that’s the part that hurts — realising someone only liked the idea of you, not the real you.

4. 

Everyone’s Wounded, But Few Are Healing

We’re all carrying heartbreak, disappointment, and emotional scars. But instead of dealing with them, people just keep dating over their pain — hoping a new person will make them forget the old one.

That’s why there’s so much inconsistency out there. You can meet someone amazing, have real chemistry, and then watch them pull away because they’re still stuck in their past. They’re not bad people — they’re just broken and too scared to admit it. But it doesn’t make it hurt any less when they disappear. Pain is very real, but people just refuse to admit they need to heal, or are so blind to their hurt, through their own sheer stubbornness, that it becomes a never ending cycle.

5. 

It’s All Surface-Level — Until It Isn’t

Everyone says they want something real, but as soon as it gets real — when feelings get involved, when vulnerability shows up — people panic. They shut down. They ghost. They tell you they’re “not ready” or they “need space.”

It’s like people want the connection without the commitment, the intimacy without the risk. But love doesn’t work that way. You can’t get the deep stuff without showing up for the hard stuff too.

6. 

And Honestly? It’s Lonely Out Here

I think a lot of us are tired. Tired of being almost loved. Tired of situationships that feel like relationships until they don’t. Tired of giving our best to people who only give us their bare minimum.

Dating in 2025 feels like trying to build something real in a world where most people are emotionally unavailable. Where being kind, genuine, and loyal makes you feel like a rare species.

But you know what? I’d still rather be real than play the game. I’d rather keep my heart soft, even after it’s been bruised, than turn cold just to fit in. Because at the end of the day, I still believe that real love exists — it’s just harder to find among all the noise. This year with Mr Narcissist, I did feel even if for a few months, that the ‘Instagram’ type of love does exist, it was bull-shit! The jetting off on trips, and 100 roses dream, must only be delivered by love bombers, fantasists or a very very low percentage of men who truly want the dream to.

So if you’re out there, trying to love with your whole heart in a world that feels disconnected — you’re not alone.

We may be the minority now, but we’re the ones who’ll eventually find something real — because we never stopped believing in it